Nicole Cheak (00:03)
to tell you about something that happened in my house last week and let's just say it was kind of funny, kind of not, but my youngest came home from school and I had to deliver some bad news. He had to redo an assignment and I was going to sit with him while he did it and let's just say he was not thrilled. He full-on tone, eyes rolling, looked at me and goes, thanks bad news buddy.
And then he turned to my husband because he was here too. And he was like, and you're bad news, Barry. And then walked away. I was kind of in this place where I was like, ⁓ okay. I want to laugh a little bit because he's clearly been thinking about this for a while. But the more I got to thinking, I, he's kind of right about me. I can be bad news, buddy. And I am absolutely the one that tells you things that you don't want to hear. So in the spirit of living up to my name,
I have some bad news for you today. And then some actually really good news right behind it. So here's the bad news. And it's what I see with almost every mom that I work with or talk to when they first come to me. She thinks that eating healthy means multiple hours of meal prep on Sundays and multiple dinners, you know, one for her because the family can't eat anything else. And it's also
food that just tastes gross, Or it's too complicated and she's like, I just, you I don't have time. So she tries it for a little bit and she's like, yep, I'm gonna do it. Maybe she starts the week super motivated and then life happens because when you're in this season and you have multiple teenagers like me and you're still running everyone around, you're like, okay, forget it. I'm just gonna start over on Monday. But here's the bad news.
That approach was never gonna work. Not because you're not disciplined enough, because sometimes you really are. And it's also not because you don't want it badly enough. Because honestly, you want it badly enough, which is why you started it in the first place. But the biggest problem that I see is that moms aren't figuring this out for their life, right? They're working with people who have no kids or ⁓ they are not in this...
where their hormones are like out of balance and they're going through this phase of what I call second puberty ⁓ when your kids are going through their first puberty and so these plans were really designed for someone without carpool, right? Without teenagers who are you know never gonna eat what you prepped and you know without opening up the fridge and all you see is ingredients which you know sometimes I do too and you're like okay what am I gonna make for dinner tonight, right?
So the other thing, know, that that's why things don't work for you, right? It didn't stick because it wasn't built for where you're at right now. And the other thing I need to say, because I think some of you need to hear it, is, you know, the fact that it didn't stick is not because of you, okay? And it's more the plan and not like what you're doing right now, okay? So the good news.
and maybe bad news Betty needs to hand the mic to, don't know, like, let's call me good news Greta, okay? What actually works for moms in midlife is not complicated, okay? It's not two hours of meal prep, though if you want to do that, that's great. There are weeks that I'm like, yep, I have a couple hours, maybe I'll make a little bit more, but I always do like maybe 45 minutes to an hour of prep, and I don't always do it right in the same order, right?
Sometimes I'm like, I am just gonna do one. But here is the thing. This is what it is. This is the whole secret. It's one small thing done consistently. That's it, okay? That is where things go to actually make progress, consistency. And look, I know this sounds too simple and I know your brain's probably like, okay, Nikki, come on, it can't just be one thing, but I want you to hear me out.
The reason that most people fail at healthy eating isn't because they don't know enough, right? There is information galore out there on the internet right now, right? And it's really because they are trying to change everything all at once, okay? You get a plan and you're like, okay, I'm gonna overhaul my breakfast, my lunch, my dinner, my snacks, and your entire relationship with food in the same week. And that's great while you're really motivated, okay? But...
when your kids get sick and you get a phone call in the middle of the day and you're like, you gotta come get your kid or you're like, okay, how are we going to manage tonight? Because we have a 4pm practice and a 6pm game and another 8pm game and it's like the middle of the week. What do you do then? Right? That's why most people quit is because they get so busy that they just don't even know how to fit it in. And then the, what I hear all the time is I'm just, I'm too busy. I don't have time. Right?
because that is when everything collapses and it never became a default. It was just for performance and how you were going to show up. Okay. But moving into a default is actually different. Okay. A default is the thing that you come back to when your Wednesday has a 4pm practice, a 6pm game and an 8pm game. And it doesn't require motivation. Okay. It also doesn't require a perfectly stocked fridge. It just requires
what you've built, okay? One thing at a time stacked on top of each other until you're not trying to eat healthy, right? And I say that trying to eat healthy in quotes because you're not managing this project, right? It's just something that you do. And that, honestly, that's how real change actually happens. Not all at once, not one thing at a time, you know, building on everything every month until you look six, until you look back and like six months from now and you're like,
Huh, wow, I like don't even know. Like this things feel so different. And that's actually how I built things with my kids, right? We started in a very different place. We were in a place where I was, know, Cheez-Its were like the norm in my house. Like we could go through a box of Cheez-Its and like, and I mean the family size box in like two days, right? Now things look different in my house. And...
I used to be the one who'd be like, I'd open up the fridge and I'd be like, okay, well, I guess we have no food in house, so let's just go run to Chick-fil-A. Now I have a much better system to where maybe I have, you know, I have my easy plate formula that doesn't have to be so hard and I'm not running through the drive-through every single night of the week when I don't feel like cooking. And I'm not saying that we never, you know, go through the drive-through or grab a pizza, like,
That's not it at all because nobody's perfect. And let's be honest, like there are nights I don't feel like cooking either, but you know, it's also about the things that you want and the things that you don't. And part of it is just really figuring out, know, what this looks like, what it looks like for you. And so in the collective, we do a lot of these things, right? So let me just give you an example. Inside of the collective this month in May, we're going to focus on fiber. Okay.
And specifically, we're going to talk about eating the rainbow and why adding more color on your plate is one of the simplest shifts that you can make even when you have to get dinner on your plate in the next 20 minutes and you're running around with your chicken, like a chicken with your head cut off. OK. And right now you're thinking, OK, Nikki, but, know, like, I can't handle anything else. I totally get it. And it's why inside the collective that I build things the way that I do, because I want it to be on your time and not
on a time when you feel like you have to do something. And so I built this the way that I built it to save you time, not add to your plate. I know, pun intended, right? But look, fiber at the end of the day is not a diet thing, okay? It's not a restriction thing. And it's honestly one of the single most underrated lovers for midlife fat loss and hormone health and actually gut health, right? And most women aren't nearly getting enough of it. And...
We don't really realize it until we start to sit down and we're like, oh yeah, I guess maybe I'm not. So that's kind of how we work inside the collective, right? Is we build on top of things. April was sugar. March was really focusing on what the easy plate was and why it's there and how to make an easy plate. And so in May, we're focusing on fiber. So that's it, one focus. And we're building it into the food that you're already making. And so...
with the family that you already have. And I want you to understand that, you know, these are the things that kind of move the needle, right? And I will always tell you the truth. That's the thing I want you to know. And that's, think, why my son called me Bad News Buddy is because I'm never going to be afraid to tell you the hard things, right? To tell you what's working, what's not, where, you know, where you can make a change, where...
you might have blind spots that you may or may not see. And it is coming from a place of love. Because at the end of the day, my mission is simple. I want moms to stop feeling like they don't have time to take care of themselves and that they can make the time or that they have the time and they don't realize it to really...
put themselves first, put themselves on a plate because at the end of the day, we talk about that plane, right? If you've ever been on a plane, they always tell you to put your mask on first. And it's for good reason, because if you don't have on your mask, then you can't help somebody else because you're gonna have no oxygen, right? But if you put your mask on first, you have the oxygen, and then you put on the other mask, that's it. That's what's gonna help. And so I...
have built a couple of things that will help you, that will take and add to the oxygen so that you can help. The first thing is my five days to finally know what to eat in perimenopause. It is free. It is going to help you get started knowing what to do. And the second thing is a one question quiz. You can figure out what's getting in your way and, you know,
So that you're because everybody's different, right? Everybody's got something that's different and what's getting in your way may not be what's getting in your friend's way. And so I don't want you to spin your wheels on one thing when it might be something else. So I just want you to know that if you ever need anything, I've got no judgment. Have a question. Send me an email. ⁓ But if you're also ready to stop starting over and you're ready to move forward and build something that
actually feels good and you're like, okay, I feel good and I'm, I am ready to start feeling better in my body, then come on over to the collective because we would love to see you in there. And that is it today from Bad News Betty. But the bad news really is that honestly, your old approach just wasn't going to work. And the good news is you don't need to overhaul your life. Okay. You just need to do one thing, one thing consistently, and that's going to fit the life that you actually have. So
the quizzes and the show notes if you wanna know the one thing that's getting in your way. And I will see you on the next episode.
