Nicole Cheak (00:01.966)
How many times have you thought, I know I need to take better care of myself. And then you immediately follow it up with things like, but I don't have time or I can't afford it or everything I read contradicts everything else that I'm hearing or yeah, that works for her, but not me. So if you're a woman in midlife, you have probably thought one of these things and you're drowning in choices and second guessing yourself. So today I want to show you
how to strip all of that down to one word, choice. And how to make food, movement, and mindset choices with so much confidence that you change your body, your future, and most importantly, the legacy you leave.
Nicole Cheak (00:53.346)
So let's break that down because choice in and of itself sounds simple. But when you're standing in your kitchen at 6 p.m. and you are exhausted with your kids asking you what's for dinner and a fridge full of nothing, choice doesn't really feel simple. It actually feels impossible. And that's because most of the advice out there right now is built for like that younger version of you. That one that just isn't.
Nicole Cheak (01:30.732)
So today I wanna show you three places where you can start making confident choices again in a way that actually works for you. Because when you do, you don't just change your body, you change your future, and most importantly, the legacy that you're leaving. So let's talk about the first choice. And this is the choice that's sometimes the hardest, but you need to put yourself first on the list. And I want you to...
and I want you to picture something with me.
Nicole Cheak (02:07.126)
Okay, put yourself in the scene for a second. You order pizza for the family and everyone takes what they want. There's one slice left. You're still hungry and you don't take it because if you're because you're waiting to see if someone else wants it first. Maybe one of the kids will come back for seconds or maybe your husband just didn't get enough. So you wait and that one slice. That's the metaphor for your whole life right now.
You're always waiting to see if there's anything left for you instead of choosing yourself first. So here's what I want you to hear. You're allowed to take the last slice. You're allowed to choose yourself before everyone else has taken what they need. Not because you're selfish, but because you matter too. And the thing is, is that every time you wait for that last slice, every time you put yourself on the bottom,
You're teaching everyone around you, including yourself, that your needs don't matter. And that is silent resentment. It's burnout. It's feeling like you're running on fumes. And that's what always happens when you're choosing last place for yourself.
Nicole Cheak (03:28.056)
So what does it actually look like? How do you put yourself on the list when you've got a kid, a job, and house, and a million things to do on your to-do list?
Nicole Cheak (03:45.006)
So what does that actually look like? How do you put yourself first on the list when you've got kids and a job and a house to run and a to-do list that never ends? Here are three small ways that you can start choosing yourself today. So the first one, put food on your plate. I know it sounds ridiculously simple, but how many times do you eat standing at the counter? Or you're picking your kids leftovers or you're grabbing bites of food while you're cleaning up.
because that's not eating, that's just survival at the very least. And here's what I want you to do and here's the choice that you can make for yourself. You're gonna put food on an actual plate. You're gonna sit down with your family and you're going to feed yourself like you matter to because...
Nicole Cheak (04:36.462)
and you're going to feed yourself like you matter too. Because honestly, that's one of the first steps to putting yourself on the list. Okay. Listen. This next one also very simple, but every morning you're making breakfast, you're pouring juice, you're getting everyone out the door. And at 10 a.m. you realize that you haven't had a single sip of water. Okay. It sounds simple. I get it. It sounds boring. But the thing is, is that
before you start to do anything else, give yourself some water because you were so dehydrated after sleeping all night. And honestly, that's also putting yourself on the list. I know it sounds simple. It sounds weird, but rehydrating yourselves gives you energy in the morning. A third way to just put yourself on the list is instead of saying yes all the time, give yourself a second and ask yourself,
Do I have time for this? Is this going to give me energy? Am I excited about it? So say, let me check it instead of just saying yes. And maybe that's asking someone to drive you somewhere or help with something, or you're adding one more thing to your plate. And I'm not saying that this isn't about doing the things that you need to do to be a mom and to help with your family. But I am saying that if there are things that you don't necessarily always need to do, you can say, let me check and get back to you.
Look, I know it's hard, but you have to give your permission. Look, I know it's hard, but you have to give yourself permission to check in with your energy first. And if you actually have the capacity for this, or is it just something that they need for me right now? Or am I just saying yes, because that's what I always do. Okay, so when you really stop to think about, if you have the capacity for that, that's putting yourself on the list.
And when you start to do this, here's what happens. You stop presenting everyone around you.
Nicole Cheak (06:54.658)
and
When you start making these choices, there are some things that happen. You stop presenting everyone around you. You stop running on empty and you start trusting yourself again. And your kids, they see a mom who believes she is worth taking care of. They see you put food on the plate and actually sit down and have a conversation with them. They see you take care of yourself before you pour cup.
Nicole Cheak (07:22.402)
They see you take care of yourself before you're taking care of other people's needs. And they see you pausing to say yes.
Nicole Cheak (07:32.268)
and they see you pausing before everything else to say yes to everything.
and they see you pausing before saying yes to everything to see if it's really something that you should be doing. But look, the most important thing they are learning, it is not selfish to take care of yourself. It's necessary.
Nicole Cheak (08:08.59)
At end of the day, confidence starts the moment that you choose you. Okay? And I know that that can be hard to hear and I know can also feel motivational and, you know.
Nicole Cheak (08:25.132)
At the end of the day, confidence starts the moment that you choose you. And look, I know that can feel motivational and pie in the sky, but when you choose you, not after you've done everything else and not when you just have time, you choose you right now in the middle of the messy day, you get to do it. And when you do it, your kids see it. And they see that mom who takes the last slice. They see a mom who believes she's worth.
her time. And they also see a mom who has limits and boundaries. That's a huge piece of legacy because these are not big dramatic changes. They're tiny, they're repeated, and they're little choices that all add up.
Nicole Cheak (09:14.37)
And when these choices add up, they compound. And that's how confidence is built. I know.
Nicole Cheak (09:23.894)
I know, it sounds crazy.
Nicole Cheak (09:30.306)
I know it doesn't sound like much, but it's true. When your actions compound, it's how you build confidence.
Nicole Cheak (10:13.356)
Okay, now the second choice is about food and this is one where most women get completely stuck. So I want to start by telling you a story. A few years ago when my kids were little, so maybe it was more than a few years ago by now, I was in the Starbucks line almost all the time and my youngest, my oldest...
And my oldest was in preschool and he knew my order. It was a grande, non-fat, cinnamon, dolce latte with two pumps and no whip. And he knew exactly what I was ordering every time I would go through. And sometimes I was getting a slice of banana bread. Turns out I was eating and drinking 67 grams of added sugar before 10 a.m. And that's like...
lot more sugar than you're supposed to have in a day. So I was starting my morning with it four or five times a week. I was feeling like garbage and I was exhausted in the afternoon and I wasn't feeling good about myself and I couldn't figure out why. But the thing that I didn't really understand is that I was drowning in information because one person
Nicole Cheak (11:45.314)
But here's the thing I didn't really understand and didn't know is that I was really just drowning in information. I was listening to a lot of different people and not taking it upon myself to sit down and make the choices.
Nicole Cheak (12:14.008)
But the truth honestly is that I was overwhelmed every single day. I was overwhelmed with all the things I had to do for work because I was working in corporate at the time and I was traveling and I was eating out and I was doing all the things. But then also I was super busy at home and my kids were young and we were busy and we were on the go all the time. And so I ended up paralyzed. I wasn't making any good choices.
and I was just feeling like garbage. so everything contradicted everything else that I was hearing and I was terrified of just making the wrong choice. The thing that I wish I would have learned back then is that things don't have to be complicated. Okay. You don't need to know.
Nicole Cheak (13:07.778)
You don't need to know everything out there about food. It doesn't have to be complicated. You just need to go back to the basics. Okay? You need to have things that come from the ground and have a mother. That's it. Real food. Not food that comes in a package with a ton of ingredients that you can't pronounce and not food that's been stripped down and pumped full of sugar. Just real food.
Nicole Cheak (13:37.408)
So what does it look like to be overwhelmed with food, feel like garbage, needing to know, knowing that you need to do something about it. And there are three things that I would, I would really focus on. Start watching your added sugar. This is so important because there is added sugar in everything. Salad dressings, packaged foods, snacks, granola bars, yogurt, coffee creamers, and
Most of us don't even realize that we're eating or drinking way more of it than we should. So just start by paying attention because that's really going to help you understand what's going into your food and the awareness is everything. Second step is move toward whole foods. And I want you to hear me say this. I'm not saying tomorrow you have to have some perfect diet. I'm not saying that you have to throw everything out that you have. I'm not saying that you have to start completely over.
What I am saying is that you need to start paying attention and moving toward whole foods. Okay. Start by thinking like, is this a food that came from the ground or have a mother because it's a whole food. So eggs? Yes. Chicken? Yes. Vegetables? Yes. Pop tarts? Probably not. That protein bar with a ton of ingredients that you can't pronounce? Definitely not. I once had a client tell me her protein bar had 18 grams of added sugar in it.
And almost fell over. And so you're starting the day when you start, when you have that protein bar in the morning, you start that day and you're feeding yourself sugar. You're not necessarily getting the protein and actual nutrients that you need. So the closer that you can get to real food, the better off you're going to be. And like I said, I don't want you being perfect. I don't want you overhauling everything all tomorrow, but I do want you to just pick a meal. Okay. Maybe it's your breakfast. Maybe instead of Starbucks, you have.
eggs and toast. I had a client tell me not that long ago that she was on her way to Starbucks to get her Friday treat and she literally turned her car around and went home and decided that she was just going to have something at home instead. That's a huge choice, right? And that's your whole strategy. So one meal is going to compound and that upgrade over time is going to be what's going to work.
Nicole Cheak (16:09.464)
So my kids now ask me on the daily, actually, why do we have to eat so healthy? And look, this wasn't an overnight thing. I didn't magically wake up one day and like think that we were going to eat this way or mostly whole foods. But I also noticed that my energy wasn't tanking in the afternoon and my kids attitudes had changed.
and actually, you know, it's not easy all the time, right? But they...
And when they ask me why we have to eat so healthy, I usually tell them, yeah, we do. But it's why I'm showing you what it looks like to feed your body and how it matters. So they see me read labels. They see me choose real food. And they see me make so much better choices instead of just grabbing whatever's fastest. Because I can tell you, there was a time when we would go through the drive-through three or four nights a week. And they're learning.
that this is how you take care of yourself. And that's honestly the biggest piece for me.
Nicole Cheak (17:27.896)
Food is one of those things that can be so hard, but confidence grows when food becomes simple. Not when you're following some complicated plan, but when you're figuring out how to make it work for you. Okay, not when you're restricting, not when you're stressing out about it, but when you feed yourself with real food consistently and confidently, that's when things change. And if you're sitting here and you're like, okay, but I don't know where to start. This is exactly what we do inside of Real Food Made Easy, the collective.
We strip it all down to the basics. What to eat, how to build a plate, how to work with your body in like midlife craziness, okay? So we make it all simple.
Nicole Cheak (18:18.05)
And now I want to talk about the third choice because it's probably the most powerful, but it's not what you eat or how you move. It's the story that you're building and the legacy that you're leaving. And if you're in the middle of midlife right now, chances are you're likely in reaction mode. You're overwhelmed. You're burned out from conflicting advice. And because you don't know where to start, you usually don't start at all. So you stay stuck and the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months.
and you look up one day and you realize, wow, a year's gone by and I'm still exactly where I was. And you're still putting yourself last and you're still second guessing every choice and you're still exhausted and your kids are seeing it and they're watching all of it. And it reminds me of this thing, this game, right? Monkey see, monkey do. Your kids are more likely to do what you do than what you say.
They don't care about your intentions. They don't care about your actions. They don't care about your intentions. They do care about your actions. So if you're constantly saying, I need to take care, better care of myself, but then actually never doing it, that's what they're learning. They're learning that to take care of yourself is something you talk about, but you never actually do. And they're also learning that burnout is just a big part of being a mom and whether or not you realize it.
That's the legacy that you're building right now.
Nicole Cheak (19:56.28)
Here's what most people don't realize. And while it's coming more into view now, it's still not talked about as enough, but at least 60 % of chronic diseases are linked to diet and lifestyle choices. Heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune conditions, and so many of these trace back to the foods that we eat and the choices that we make. And if your kids are watching you make choices out of overwhelm and burnout and reaction, that's the foundation that they're building their lives on.
Nicole Cheak (20:33.24)
But the good news is, is that every choice that you make is also building a legacy. Every time you choose to refute, every time you put yourself on the list and every time you pause before saying yes, you're showing them what it actually looks like to take care of yourself. And that, that changes generations.
Nicole Cheak (20:55.542)
A lot of people ask me, Nikki, why did you start this? Why did you start? Why do you want to get in health coaching? When I first started doing this work, my coach asked me, why do you want to do this? And I said, I want moms to feel confident in their choices. And she said, why? And I gave her another answer. And she asked me why again. And I gave her another answer. And she asked me why about eight times. And by the end of it, the real answer, the one I didn't even know that I was carrying.
was generational health. Because I don't want my kids to grow up thinking that burnout is normal. I don't want them to struggle with their health because of the foundation I built for them. I wanted them to know what it looks like to take care of themselves, not someday, but right now. And the only way that they were going to learn from that was by watching me do it.
Nicole Cheak (21:48.354)
So now my kids read labels and I gotta be honest, I have three tween and teen boys who have their own thoughts and they're not always listening to me, but they do notice and they ask a lot of questions. And sometimes they make a lot of different choices than they used to, but that's because they watched me make different choices first. And it didn't happen overnight. It didn't happen overnight. It happened because I made one small choice and then another and then another, and then those choices compounded.
because what happens when your choices compound, you get more confident. So if you're sitting here thinking, okay, I get it. I don't even know where to start. Like how do I even put myself on the list? I told you, you don't need to overhaul your whole life. You don't have to be perfect. You got to just pick one thing. Maybe that's putting food on your plate. Maybe it's reading a label on your coffee order. Maybe it's saying, let me check instead of just saying yes all the time because that's enough to get started.
And you don't need to make a massive change. You just need to be 1 % better than you were yesterday. 1 % better choices, 1 % better, consistent, 1 % better, more confident. Those 1 % improvements, they compound. In a year, you're not 365 % better. You're exponentially better because those small choices build on each other. Look, this might sound harsh, but I need you to hear me out. Overwhelm is a choice.
And when you are overwhelmed, it's usually because you're trying to do everything all at once. You're trying to be perfect. You're trying to figure it all out before you even start, but you don't have to have it figured all out. You just need one choice and then another and then another because confidence isn't built by knowing everything. It's built by doing the next right thing.
Nicole Cheak (23:49.784)
So every choice you're making today is building tomorrow's reality for you and for the people watching you because confidence is contagions. When you start choosing yourself, your kids learn to choose for themselves. And when you start feeding your body like it matters, they learn their bodies matter too. And when you start protecting your energy, they learn that they have to have limits too. That's the legacy, not perfection, not having it all together, just choosing yourself one confident choice at a time. So here's my question for you.
What are you choosing today? And then I want you to remember growth hurts, but regret hurts more and staying where you are. hurts too. Watching another year go by while you're still overwhelmed and still burned out and still putting yourself last. It's all going to hurt, but making a different choice. might feel uncomfortable at first. It might feel selfish. It might feel hard, but every confident choice compounds. And a year from now, you're going to look back.
And you're going to be so glad that you started today or you're going to wish that you had. So the question is, what choice will you choose now? Are you going to keep waiting for the perfect time? And then a year from now, you're going to be like, should have started, or are you going to keep drowning in information and continue second guessing yourself? Or are you going to make one choice that builds the legacy that you actually want to leave? And if you're sitting here thinking, I want to do this, but I just don't know.
how to figure it out. That's why I created Real Food Made Easy, the collective. It's my monthly membership where we take all of this, the food, the mindset, the confidence piece, and we make it simple and sustainable. And if you want more info, I will drop the link below, but whether or not you join me, the important thing is that you start.
So remember.
Nicole Cheak (25:42.99)
You're not behind, you haven't ruined anything. And the choices that you make today are still shaping your story and the story that your kids will tell and the story that you will tell yourself. So let's make them ones that you're proud of.
